So you're thinking of entering into a Friends With Benefits? Here are some questions to guide you:
Honesty: Be open and honest about what you desire, how much time you ACTUALLY have available to offer, and who else you may also be seeing, too. Is one or both people in a committed relationship already? Is someone in an open relationship? Is someone seeking love?
Agency: Make sure you both feel empowered and have a sense of agency in deciding for yourself - no coercion or hidden agenda to manipulate them into a committed relationship.
Consent: Both people are a “YES” to stepping into this and aren’t self-sacrificing what they actually want. Hesitations are discussed, and it still feels like a yes.
How many times or frequency is an ideal + a boundary for you/them? 1x month? Every time you’re both in the same town at the same time? 2x total max?
What does s.ex mean for you both? Is it a stress reliever? An expression of closeness? Exploration and experimentation? Are you both on the same page here?
What are each other’s desires for stepping into this? What do you both want to experience or gain from the experience?
What are your boundaries around FWB? What are you NOT available for or desiring? Is this honored by both?
Friends with Benefits is not for everyone, so please don’t pressure yourself into being in one when it’s not true in your own body.
Your needs are important, and we don’t need to self-sacrifice ourselves in order to receive love + affection from another.
Do you have any other suggestions for people looking to start a FWB? Share with us;)
Listen to episode 117 of Eat Play Sex podcast for more on FWB