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SEX. How Can We Create Sexual Chemistry without a Trauma Bond?

Updated: Mar 5, 2021

Part 2 of 3

How to Polarize:

Remember yesterday’s post where I talked about different types of polarity? Here we talk about how you can dial it up:

Masculine + Feminine (not gender specific):

Masculine energy is the manifestation of action, protection, solid strength, purpose, cognitive, giving

Feminine energy is the manifestation of creativity, inspiration, flow, softness, nurturance, receptivity, emotional.

When you + you partner(s) are in one of these manifestations while you are in the other, they compliment + create attraction, ease in the dance between you. When you both are fighting for the same role, we feel a discord + challenge in connection.

Dark + Light

This is the bad boy/good girl (or reverse) or the angel + the devil or the naughty one + the nice one. The experience of taking on roles that oppose in this way can be really fun. What was so attractive about Sandy + Danny in Grease? They were from two different worlds, making it interesting for them to explore + learn about the other.

Top + Bottom

This is where one person is giving while the other is receiving. When both people try to take the role of giving, it splits our awareness + makes it more of a challenge to be present in either role (of giver or receiver). If we are both wanting to be the receiver, then who is there to give? Sometimes this can be seen in domination = submission, but not necessarily. Which leads me to…

Dominating + Submitting

This is power play at it’s finest. Where one person plays the role of (consensually) exerting their power + direction over another person, while the other person (consensually) relinquishes their power to the other’s action. This can be seen when a partner pins the other to the bed + holds their wrists above their head while kissing them deeply. Or blindfolding + binding a partner so they are powerless to our play on them. This is the other partner completely surrendering to their pleasure + letting go of trying to direct the action.

Wild + Rooted

This is visible when one partner is dynamic, emotionally + physically expressive while the other is more solid, rooted, centered + strong. Where one partner grounds the pair, the other enlivens. This is where the differing qualities inspire the other with what they don’t have + attracts as a pair in a felt sense of balance. When the pair is both dynamic + highly expressive, sometimes we experience one taking the quieter role, or they both explode + exhaust. When both are more rooted + chill, we can experience a lull or eventual boredom.

Polarity does not need to exist across these differing variations, but as more of an inspiration of the ways we can consciously create it in our relationships when we find we have become too similar. Tomorrow we dive in to talk about how to find the balance to polarity: emotional attraction/connection.

Stay tuned for part 3 as I dive in about how you can balance this polarity with emotional attraction so you don’t burn up in flames.

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